No penis, no problem!

For the past 2 years, we’ve questioned our ability to teach our son Stone how to use the potty. So many people gave us advice mostly involving cheerios and male role models. For a while I was freaking out and practically begging my brother in law to teach him, and show him his “parts” so he wouldnt feel odd for being the only male in the house… For real, even our dogs and bunny rabbit are females! 

In bringing up my concerns with other parents, I was reassured that boys are always late  bloomers when it comes to potty training and that I had plenty of time before I had to worry about it.  Now, its not like its our first take at potty training, daughter conquered the potty in a couple months after our son was born.  She had just turned two and finally got the hang of it after two months, meaning she could go out in public without having any accidents. It wasnt easy, actually more of a struggle for her than anticipated. So in my mind our son was like venturing into the unknown.

A couple months after his first birthday we noticed that he really enjoyed climbing things.  I mean what toddler doesnt? He had found our daughter’s minnie mouse potty in the back closet and was carrying it around the house to use as a stool… no pun intended..Soon enough we noticed he would emulate his big sister on the adult potty during strategic times, like just before bed  or a bath but he never actually went to the bathroom..he just grabbed handfuls of tp and shoved it behind him as we usually did after we finished. 

Months went by and potty training still seemed like it was in the distant future. Until one day when I came home from work and decided to take an early shower. He usually follows me in the bathroom and helps get my towel and clothes ready, so he thinks. Otherwise he cries because I’m not actually with him. I know mammas boy.. This time was different though, he marched right into the bathroom with me went in the back closet and grabbed the pink minnie mouse potty , struggling he threw it to the ground and popped open the lid.  Still thinking he was just going to use it as a stool to get to the sink, I kept washing my hair and quickly peeked through the see through shower curtain to see him completely undressing. Although it was odd I didnt pay much attention. Next thing I knew he had the potty in his arms and was carrying it out into the bedroom, bare butt and all. I quickly got out to grab it from him because he had pulled the top off and was using it to frame his face while roaring like a lion.. little did I know he was just covering himself with his very first peepee in the potty!!! I saw it all over the ground but was too excited to care. I threw off my towel, picked him up and spun him around in the air attempting to throw as much positive reinforcement his way as possible. His smile was unforgettable and so was his first prize request….a gumball! 

One thing I learned with my daughter was that potty training would only be successful if one found that ultimate prize that meant more to them than anything in the world.  For my daughter it was singing happy birthday and blowing out a candle (you know how long that took to figure out)… Now we have Stone and he has so graciously provided us with his ultimate desire, thanks bud.  From that point on, those gumballs were like gold (did I mention they weren’t really gumballs, but mini jelly beans I had struck in a plastic gumball machine?…way less messy).

So happy to say that our son has been going strong for 3 weeks now without the help of a male role model or even a winkie model😉.. He is almost to the point where his prizes are obsolete.

 This goes to show that all my worries were these “social norms”  that society assured me was the “only way” a little boy would learn to go potty.My fears were removed that amazing days! No penis? No problem.. these mammas have got this! 

Media’s influence on my 3 year old with 2 mom


The lack of same sex couples on children’s programs is finally getting to my 3 year old daughter. She is quite intelligent and always has been advanced. Walking at 9 months, trips to Disney while walking and talking through the park at 15 months  and even beginning gymnastics when she was 16 months old. I had always figured that since she grew up with two moms, a pair of happily devoted uncles and many family friends that are “diverse” to say the least, that I wouldn’t have to try and convince her that not every child has a mom and a dad. Yes, there are plenty of heterosexual married couples within our family as well, but with thr amount of diversity we have I would never have expected to be struggling like I have been lately.

Despite my efforts to explain to her that a child’s parents do not always have to consist of a mom and a dad, her books, movies and cartoons say otherwise. I have even tried looking up cartoons that may have only made the internet cut and found a cartoon intro about a kid named  Buddy G, but when it actually gets to the 2 moms part it pauses and runs in reverse.  I will give some credit to the cartoon network for their attempts to insert same-sex couples into their programs, but their content is a bit too advanced and brief for my daughter to understand.

We do have our moments where she seems to understand that marriage and parenting can be a multitude of possibilities, but she always shoots one back at me asking why her disney princess idols are always coupled with “boys”. Some part of me feels responsible in that I haven’t gone out of my way to hunt for more books depicting 21st century families but another part of me feels like I shouldnt have to.

So what is the real fear here? What is the fear networks/parents have with programs depicting diverse content that could help children around the world feel better about themselves and their families? Help them feel more normal because they are normal? What isn’t normal to me is seeing an entire collection of well know children’s movies that consistently show at least 1 parent (if not both) dying in the first 30 minutes after the onsent of the movie.  How can death be okay for a child to interpret but seeing a happy child with 2 moms be taboo? Are parents afraid that it will provoke questions from their child, questions they will have to answer? Do they believe that children will some how be influenced in thinking that being in a same-sex relationship is okay? Do parents think it will make their child gay? Are networks afraid of a lack of raitings? Backlash? Thier image? What is it!?

If anything I believe it will do nothing of the sort.. Remember, these children are growing up in a era where interracial familes, single parent familes, and even lesbian,bisexual, gay or transgender families are nothing to get bent out of shape about. So when parents think its a disservice to have 1 cartoon that depicts a family different from theirs, remember how many cartoons my daughter has to watch that depicts families different from hers.

First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

Expect the unexpected they said.. two kids later and we have our hands full. A 3 year old with a mind of a rational 20 year old and a 1 year old who I’ve been told has “the gift”. My experiences are real and unique. My partner and I are not married (yet) but being in a same-sex parenting dynamic was never a worry of mine, until now. My kids have minds of their own and not to mention our country has recently changed….. drastically! We shall see what will happen.

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